No,not in the obnoxious, person standing in the queue kinda way but as in I could do with some help here.
Since finishing up my job 3 months ago I’ve come to realise how much I defined myself by what I did. I had a sort of interesting job where I met interesting people but the payoff was headmelt so I got out of there. It was only in the past few weeks when someone asked me “ What do you do? that I started to get stuck. I went into some long winded blah about what I HAD done and I’m pretty sure they regretted asking me.
Then more recently after signing up for a triathlon I realised my running career is most likely over due to a long term back problem. UM convinced me that I could still train for it by swimming and biking. But yesterday I pretty much made up my mind that I really don’t want to race having only half heartedly trained. In fact I can’t imagine at this very moment doing a triathlon again. I have a swim coming up too but I’m cool with that as I love swimming. But I’m no longer a runner…or a triathlete( which was a bit of a stretch as I’ve only ever done two) Oh and I really need to change the tag line on the blog.
But suddenly I feel a bit lost, I guess at my age ( 49) a lot of people feel this way. It reminds me a lot of my 20’s when I was at home with the kids. When I did get the chance to socialise I felt I hadn’t anything really interesting to say. I realise this sounds a bit ungrateful but it really got to me yesterday. I picked up my iPad and thought “ Jesus, you even think you can write” and went to delete my blog. But part of me still thinks I’m entertaining ( the deluded part)
I guess it’s really about change and looking at the unknown as an exciting opportunity, taking risks and putting myself out there. I’m starting a course in a few weeks that I’m only really half invested in but I’ll give it a go. Meanwhile the only answer I can come up with is “ I’m a pretty average, fairly good natured woman who loves her family, Black and white films, vintage clothes, cycling, singing, taking photos,dancing ,reading, swimming and the odd cigarette ( thanks Cat, you made me rat myself on that one)It’s the bold child in me🙂
Just want to end in this note…We had the absolute pleasure of meeting up with fellow blogger Cat Bradley when she and her lovely fella visited Dublin, what an absolutely wonderful pair, love you guys❤️