Starting the New Year with a bang, a cough and absolutely no running…

Yeah,yeah yeah. I know, nearly everyone you know had the flu over Christmas/New Year. This is not the beginning of a moanfest just stating facts and I wanted to get a blog in before January ended.

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It was “ proper” sick. For the first time ever in my current job I took time off. It was a pretty quiet Christmas really apart from on the Friday after Christmas my daughter joined my husband onstage and sang 4 songs at his gig. Yes, my heart was bursting with pride. Note to self. If I’d been drinking this would have gone over my head #gratitudecheck

So  I’m gradually returning to normality. Back to work, back swimming,back blogging but no running just yet. I’ll be gentle with myself on that one, still have a pretty heavy wheeze going on. The constant taking of paracetamol is taking it’s toll though, I’ve got myself some pretty impressive dark circles under my eyes. On that note, it’s so important to check over the counter medication, some cough medicine has a very high percentage of alcohol in it. Not that I’m against medication when it’s needed,and to be honest if I’m going to relapse it won’t be on  night nurse…also I think after time in sobriety and rigorous honesty you know when you’re “acting the bollocks”with your recovery.

 

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So a lot of time spent in bed reading and thinking…Jesus, the thinking. But I did get to read a lot of books and blogs. There was one post in particular from SoberinVegas that hit on something for me. I get moments in sobriety when I momentarily miss the “ bold me” The one that drank and smoked and didn’t ( appear) to give a shit. The tattooed, flame haired mad dancing crazy girl( to be fair I still tick a few of those boxes). Of course  I know this is all normal but SOMETIMES I feel like such a goodie 2 shoes! I mean what does that even mean? Society tells  me I need to be edgy…well actually try training for an triathlon, that’s pretty bad ass.

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But I’d just like to end on this and throw it out there. I have lots of friends who are incredibly open about their sobriety and membership of AA. I think this is a good thing( I have to add here  that I have total respect for the right to remain anonymous , live and let live) I read in the comment section of another blog recently how AA “insist” on a God/Higher Power to stay sober. There are so many harmful misconceptions of the fellowship imho. The “anonymous “ part seems to arouse suspicion which is why I love when some Rock Star who has a “ cool” image comes out publicly as using the program. I know that may sound shallow but society is shallow. Wouldn’t it be great if sober was cool.

I’ll love yiz and leave yiz for now S x

p.s the “ bang” in the title refers to the sound of me falling on the bathroom floor after a particularly enthusiastic cough that put my sacrum out.

22 thoughts on “Starting the New Year with a bang, a cough and absolutely no running…

    • saoirsek January 23, 2018 / 1:01 pm

      Slightly less crazy these days and my dancing is confined mostly to my kitchen🙂

      Like

      • Joseph E Bird January 23, 2018 / 1:07 pm

        in my youth i was one of those guys who had to have a few drinks before I would venture out on the dance floor. Then I met my wife, who can’t keep from dancing whenever she hears the music. She didn’t drink at all. Now i’m out there with her on the first song, no drinks required. It’s great to have that kind of freedom. Dance away, slightly less crazy girl.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. CJ January 23, 2018 / 5:23 pm

    Pleased you’re on the mend! Nourish that body now and be good to yourself so that it’s ready for your epic year!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • saoirsek January 23, 2018 / 5:58 pm

      Ah thank you. Still struggling with my chest but spending time in the steam room most days. Swimming is going surprisingly well, don’t know what that’s all about!

      Liked by 1 person

      • CJ January 23, 2018 / 7:35 pm

        maybe swimming your thAng! enjoy!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. WVRunnergirl16 January 23, 2018 / 11:28 pm

    Absolutely fabulously post!! #sobrietyiscool

    Liked by 1 person

  3. bgddyjim January 24, 2018 / 12:39 am

    Sobriety is cool. Because we say it is. F*** society. Society is a myth. It’s a fall-guy. It’s a wraith – and I don’t believe in wraiths.

    Liked by 1 person

    • saoirsek January 24, 2018 / 8:24 am

      believe me Jim, I agree. I’ve always had an anti establishment chip on my shoulder so whatever society told me to do I went against. Part of my problem BUT that’s same chip saw how to get sober and not give a crap about what other people thought about that, still seen as an oddball in Ireland if you don’t drink.i just think so many people are missing out on sobriety because of misconceptions around the fellowship. And yes sobriety is the wildest thing I’ve done, hardcore man 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • bgddyjim January 24, 2018 / 9:48 am

        You’re indubitably right about misinformation and misconceptions. Just remember, “they do recover if they have the capacity to he honest”. Some don’t have the capacity, it is what it is. Great post Saoirse.

        Liked by 3 people

  4. ainsobriety January 27, 2018 / 2:49 am

    I can still be a tattooed crazy dancing chick.
    Sobriety is cool. We know the score!
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  5. cat h bradley February 1, 2018 / 10:53 am

    Sobriety is definitely cool. What’s funny to me is when I was drinking I had one of those badass personas too—I was all about not giving a fuck. BUT I CARED SOOO MUCH what people thought of me! Like, it’d make you sick! Now, sober for a while, And arguably “less cool” to some, I think I’m the closest to not giving a fuck that I’ve ever been. It feels a lot different. I think I just find myself doing things because they are in my heart. When I was drinking, every action was constructed around what someone else might think of me. The great thing about sobriety too is that now I’m actually conscious when I am letting other people’s opinions drive me, and I have the ability to change it if I want to. Sobriety is cool cause sobriety is choice and FREEDOM!!
    Great post lady. Loved it. x

    Liked by 1 person

    • saoirsek February 1, 2018 / 1:40 pm

      I agree, wouldn’t have it any other way lovely Cat. I SO gave a shit what people thought, I was so uncomfortable with me that I thought drunk me was a better version…jaysus

      Like

  6. After The Party February 1, 2018 / 12:38 pm

    I go through that same weird longing for the me that used to exist. Then I remember what an asshole that girl really was, and mostly feel relieved to have changed. I was pretty awful when I was using. I may have been “fun” in public, but at home, where it mattered, I was a nightmare. I hope you are feeling much better by now!

    Like

    • saoirsek February 1, 2018 / 1:42 pm

      Hey, as I just mentioned to another blogger, I thought a drunk version of myself was better, and whilst the drinking was bad enough for family to deal with the absolute mess of a person I was the days after a sesh was even worse S x

      Like

  7. Eliza February 6, 2018 / 2:25 am

    Hope you’re feeling better…. have a super day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. TimeToTriHarder.blog February 9, 2018 / 7:26 am

    this is so true and so well expressed it gave me goosebumps. I too sometimes miss the bold crazy me and sometimes I hate the goodie 2 shoes me, but its the fact I don’t trust myself not be an arsehole, and I was a total arsehole when I drank, that keeps me off the booze. And yeah, the buzz I get from a good training session or completing a race is so much more valid!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. saoirsek February 9, 2018 / 8:49 am

    Haha, I love that, can’t trust ourselves not to be arseholes. And that in itself is enough of a reason not to drink. Still have my moments being an arsehole in sobriety, except now I try to checkidy check myself and apologise if needed

    Like

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